Thursday, March 17, 2011

Mommy Misses You

How can you miss someone you've never met?  Who's existence you were only aware of for a couple of weeks?  How can their absence make your heart ache with soul wrenching grief that soaks your pillow with tears at night?  I don't know how, but I know it's possible.  I only knew of the existence of my first two babies for a week with the first one, and two weeks with the second one before the Lord decided to take them home with Him, but oh how I miss them.  How is that possible?  Is it because they were a part of me, and already a part of my heart,  and as a mother I ache to know them and to hold them like I do my other children?  I'm not sure why or how or what causes it.  I just know that I've been thinking of them and missing them today.  I know they're in heaven waiting to meet their mommy and I can't wait to meet them someday.

6 comments:

  1. Praying for you today, Steph. My heart hurts for you.

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  2. My first would have been 7 this month. I TOTALLY get this. I pray that you will FEEL the Comforter today. *hugs*

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  3. Steph,
    My precious child would be 35 years old now. And now, I've never stopped thinking of him. Even now as I watch my adult children, I'm often reminded that there is one missing. What would life be like now?
    I lost my baby on MOther's Day.So that day has mixed emotions for me. Heaven looks brighter1
    Love, Aunt Linda

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  4. (((HUGS))) Karissa (6) said the other night at the supper table, "we now have 10 people in our family!" I was like "10??" She said, "Well, we have 6 girls, 2 boys here and then your two babies in heaven so that is 10!" Blessed my heart....

    When I had my m/c's I didn't know anyone that had one. It was something no one would talk about and I felt very alone and very sad. We went through a lot then. However, with me talking about it; it has allowed me to help others. No one believes now though that I was dignosed with primary infertility and all that went along with that. I feel that it has made us see our children as a blessing even more!

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  5. Thanks for sharing this. Our baby (we are pretty convinced it was twins...I'll tell you about it sometime) would have been born 18 months after Evan. Four children in four years would have been an amazing road to travel, but God in His wisdom chose differently. I sometimes wonder about 'the rest of our family' and what they might be doing right now. I'm sure they are happy as lil' larks...cheering us on...I can't wait to meet them someday!

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  6. Yes, I know the feeling... my baby was stillborn at 38 weeks. That was 10 months ago and I miss her more now than I did 10 months ago! So sorry for your losses!

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